ATTACK BEFORE CHRISTMAS
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Every creature was stirring, in search of a mouse.
The traps were set by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a rat would soon be there.
The little mice were all snuggled in their beds,
While visions of swiss cheese danced in their heads.
And I at the gate, and mother defending the keep,
Had just settled our heads for another night of no sleep;
When out on the floor there arose such a clatter,
That I at once unbarred the gate, to see what was the matter.
A dish fell and broke asunder,
With a sound closely resembling thunder.
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the cat: the cause of all our fear.
With a paw so lively and quick,
That I knew at once: it was Old Nick!
More rapid than eagles his eyes sought mine,
And he hissed, and sputtered, and readied to dine;
To the front of the hole at the edge of the wall,
he crept stealthily, causing fear in us all.
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So was the fury of the attack that night,
With the scratching and pawing that caused us such fright.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of many a hoof.
As I drew in my breath, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound!
I was so surprised, I could have jumped,
But for the cat, into whom I had bumped!
A deadly stare, and a surprised look,
Were all I got, for the St. had opened a book.
“And when this house be in dread,
It will come,” so he read.
Then from his great sack he pulled
A young puppy, who drooled and rolled.
The cat took off with a yowl, with the puppy close behind with a howl.
And then the good St. Nicholas from his coat took a towel.
And with it, began to wipe up the drool,
Which on the floor, had formed a pool.
And when he was done,
In came the cat, at a run,
With the pup close behind.
And the drool was refined
To a thread, that went out far past the pup’s tail,
And finally ended up, ensnaring the mail.
And the cat was zooming around,
Absolutely terrified of the hound.
And the pup chased him away,
And promptly ran into a tray.
The cat ran up the stairs,
Taking the steps in pairs.
The pup ran right up with him,
And with his steps, kept rhythm.
The cat ran across the floor,
And then through an open door.
The pup tried to do the same,
But speedily ran into a game.
The cat sprang up upon a bed,
And ran to its occupant’s head.
The pup scrambled up onto the bed,
But ran into its occupant’s head.
Then was the shouting great,
And as it was later described, “first rate”.
But I shut the door,
And saw no more.
And so ended the night,
And we had no more fright.
ROCKET SCIENCE
‘Twas Brillig, and the slithey toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borrowgroves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
“Beware the Jabberwrocket, my son!
The pipes that smoke, The sirens that sound!
Beware the Hubbub noise, and shun
The fumes from the engine ’round!”
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought–
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile, in thought.
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwrocket, with engines aflame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And smoked as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through,
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dented, and with the fuel,
He went gallumphing back.
“And hast thou dented the Jabberwrocket?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.
‘Twas Brillig, and the slithey toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borrowgroves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
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